folding clothes............
This afternoon I was handling every piece of clothing I have. You should know that not all of it is beautiful. Some of it is worn & faded. Some of it barely fits. And much of all of the above, I can't let go of. There is this blue long-sleeve waffle-weave t-shirt that I've had for a very long time. I've worn it on hikes. I've worn it to Chalice team meetings. I've worn it for working around the house. As the sleeves have begun to fray, I've worn it mostly to do housework and chores. I picked it up today & asked myself which stack it belongs in... "move to Missouri" or "recycle with Phoenix Fibers"???????? I got past that decision with relative ease. Then later I picked up the black cotton sweater that I've loved (and worn) for maybe 10 years. I didn't even try it on. I just said to myself, "I'm not throwing this one away." I don't think it's clothing I'm attached to. I think it's memories.
I have resigned my ministry position at Chalice Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) - did that at the end of February. I began preparation to move back to the midwest, which is my childhood home, two years ago or more. My heart has been calling me home so I can watch my grandsons August and Jacob wrestle and play football, and my granddaughter (Go, Maggie!) play rugby. Tonight, right now, as I write, she is singing with her choir in concert at Park Hill High School. I would love to be there. I WILL be there... soon. And the youngest of my grandchildren, Aiden and Silas, will very soon come for sleepovers at Gram's house. And I will spoil them. I promise to spoil them all. I promise to make up for all the possibilities of spoiling them that I've missed.
And now I need to get back to my closet. If you've ever heard me say I have nothing to wear, please know that I was caught up in the delerium of privilege and didn't know what I was saying.
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where Tony's house sits (see April 28 post)
Abundance Street in New Orleans
where Tony's house sits (see April 28 post)
3 comments:
This post reminds me that each of us experience transition differently, and with varying degrees of intensity. Your leaving Chalice is an enormous event in my life. You've been my pastor longer than any person has been my pastor. That includes, by the way, my dad. He became a minister when I was ten, so I only attended churches wherein he was the minister for 8 years; I've attended a church where you were the minister for 12. So, it's a big deal. No to mention my work on the vision team and the worship team. I'm preaching next month. I'm going to be more involved in Sunday morning serivce. I'm actively thinking about how I can help keep things running during transition.
Nonetheless, my work life is generally unrelated to this transition. Figuring out James & Kate's schedule is unrelated to it. There are lots of things I do that are unrelated to Chalice, and therefore the upcoming change.
It reminds me of my response to family deaths. Everyone experiences the loss differently. Losing my dad was one of the most significant events in my life. It shaped my world view. It is with me almost every day still. But that is nothing compared to how it affected my mom.
Obviously, it is not a contest to see he is most affected by a transition. I just think it is noteworthy that we all experience such things in our own way.
You don't have enough clothes until you have to pack them.
Jim, your message touches my heart in a pretty deep way. I'm grateful to have been your pastor for the past 12 years. This connection with you and your family is strong and runs deep. Spiritually and intellectually you keep me on my toes. I love that whatever we have to say we can say it like it is. And however attached I may be to a dumb old sweater, I'd much rather let go of it.....
And Matt, your message touches my funny bone & my conscience.
Good to run into you two here again.
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