Thursday, March 7, 2013

The Legend of the Mother of all Spider Plants

Personal note to the staff of Mid America Rehab Hospital:
     After my stroke, when the congregation in Independence that had called me to be their pastor decided they needed to terminate me, believing they couldn't afford the time and risk the uncertainty required to make this journey of recovery with me, and that they needed an unspoiled pastor to lead them right then, you became my faith community.  Get that!  A medical facility as faith community!  So many of you were unafraid to claim what was happening in my body as a miracle, and you affirmed and encouraged me through every tiny step, escorting me to recovery.  None of you imposed your beliefs on me, and so many of you accepted my expressions of faith, and were willing to listen to me talk about what God was doing in my body.  Who says the church is confined to buildings and traditions?  You are the church to me.  Thank you for your faith and your faithfulness.  I am etermally indebted to you.  I'll be bringing plants to you over the next week or so when I'm there for outpatient therapy.  I can't wait to see you.  Thank you for saving my life.
Blessings!
Rev Linda Miller

     I lived for 16 years in the Phoenix, AZ area.  There I started a new church, Chalice Christian Church.  The Blairs were one of the families of that new church.  On their patio, atop an impressive plant stand, there lived the “Mother of all Spider Plants.”  I call her that because this majestic plant was not only bigger than any I had seen before, she produced a veritable plethora of “babies” on tiny stems.  These babies had their own root systems and looked for all the world like they could survive right out there in the air.  But of course, as regenerants of earth-bound chlorophytum comosum  (sounds like a spell from the Harry Potter series, doesn’t it?), they needed dirt in order to grow. 
     As a farmer’s daughter I could go on and on about dirt.  But that would be to digress.  Here’s the point:  In the middle of the Sonoran Desert, dry, often barren, this Mother of all Spider Plants lived on her throne, a pedestal of sorts, and there she produced innumerable “baby” plants.  And there in the arid, unpromising climate, where no one with any wisdom at all would bet on the future of a fragile new plant, she sent them out into the world to find their fortune, just like the 3 little pigs. They broke away from their tiny stems and the wind flung them around the yard till their roots grabbed hold, I suppose.   I found my very own “Mother” rooted in the earth near the patio of my friends Heidi and Nick.  They had asked me to live in their house while it was on the market, and I happily obliged.  Exploring their back yard, I found “Mama” growing in the place where she had taken root at the edge of their patio.  She was pretty hardy, I must say.  Transplanted to a pot outside my apartment door, she thrived just like her mother plant had thrived. 
     There were elements that encouraged these “Mothers” and they are vital parts of the legend. There was water.  In the desert, many homeowners flood irrigate their yards.  It works just like you might imagine.  On a regular schedule, the homeowner opens a valve that releases water to the yard, which has raised borders on all sides, to hold the water like a bowl.  This watering technique actually mimics the natural process of irrigation that happens in less arid areas of the earth where rainfall is more plentiful.  There were also all the other natural elements that sustain vegetation, like sun and rest and cultivation.  How my “Mother” plant got everything she needed, I’ll never know.  I just will never forget the morning I found her thriving there in spite of the fact that she could have more easily perished, and I knew I had to take her home. 
     The plant I am giving you today is from the daughter of the original “Mother” plant.  She is yours because you have played a part in the miracle that has preserved my life, even when, like her, I could have more easily perished.  Your plant comes from a “Mother” with remarkable DNA.  Don’t mess with her.  She’s a gift to you and to me. 
     When I moved from Phoenix to Independence, MO to start a new ministry (which didn’t pan out because the folks of that church thought I couldn’t do the job for them after my stroke), I brought “Mama” with me.  Packed her into my little Prius and away we went!  In the winds of our unusual MO summer of 2012, she blew over, breaking her pot.  The church member who was retrieving my mail picked her up and plopped her into another pot.  Subsequently, my daughter Stacey-with-the-green—thumb broke this root-bound “Mama” into many smaller pots, most of which I will be keeping out of respect for the “Mama.”  The “babies” from the “Mama” are yours.  You have given me the most precious gift of new life after my stroke in July.  God did the biggest part, but you, my friend, have been one of God’s most important helpers.  I can never thank you enough.  And so just receive this little plant and water her and talk to her, and watch her grow, and know all the while that she represents the work you do… holding life precious, nurturing life, fostering hope.  Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

folding clothes............

This afternoon I was handling every piece of clothing I have.  You should know that not all of it is beautiful.  Some of it is worn & faded.  Some of it barely fits.  And much of all of the above, I can't let go of.  There is this blue long-sleeve waffle-weave t-shirt that I've had for a very long time.  I've worn it on hikes.  I've worn it to Chalice team meetings.  I've worn it for working around the house.  As the sleeves have begun to fray, I've worn it mostly to do housework and chores.  I picked it up today & asked myself which stack it belongs in... "move to Missouri" or "recycle with Phoenix Fibers"????????  I got past that decision with relative ease.  Then later I picked up the black cotton sweater that I've loved (and worn) for maybe 10 years.  I didn't even try it on.  I just said to myself, "I'm not throwing this one away."  I don't think it's clothing I'm attached to.  I think it's memories.

I have resigned my ministry position at Chalice Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) - did that at the end of February.  I began preparation to move back to the midwest, which is my childhood home, two years ago or more.  My heart has been calling me home so I can watch my grandsons August and Jacob wrestle and play football, and my granddaughter (Go, Maggie!) play rugby.  Tonight, right now, as I write, she is singing with her choir in concert at Park Hill High School.  I would love to be there.  I WILL be there... soon.  And the youngest of my grandchildren, Aiden and Silas, will very soon come for sleepovers at Gram's house.  And I will spoil them.  I promise to spoil them all.  I promise to make up for all the possibilities of spoiling them that I've missed.

And now I need to get back to my closet.  If you've ever heard me say I have nothing to wear, please know that I was caught up in the delerium of privilege and didn't know what I was saying.

Monday, August 29, 2011

dis - connected

One of my colleagues has a limited amount of time for incoming messages on his voice messaging system. My communication, however, rarely is contained in the same amount of time. I am always surprised and newly insulted when the robo-voice tells me that I have 15 seconds to complete my message (which will take at least another minute!). What is worse is that this automated message just keeps going and I'm pretty sure she's cutting into my 15 seconds, and I don't know whether I am supposed to talk over her (will my voice be recorded?) or be polite and wait till she's through talking. In frustration I hang up because it is silly to just wait to be disconnected.

My 90-year-old mother resigned her position as Sunday school teacher this week, reporting to the committee that presented the names of leadership for the coming year at business meeting last night. Her voice was cheerful as she told me about the decision she had made. Mother had been teaching the class of women who were her peers for over 60 years. She doesn't think of herself as a leader - never has. "Not like Stanley," my father. The difference, according to Mother, is that he made decisions about how things should be done, and led others. She didn't want to be the one making decisions, but saw her part as supporting the decision-makers. Her 60-year service was because there wasn't anyone else willing to teach their class.

Mother remembers when my aging father was replaced by a younger man in a church leadership role. It did not set well. Ever. She named others through the years who had resigned leadership or been replaced, and what she noticed about them is that they began to behave differently. As soon as the weekly worship was over, these former leaders would disappear through the sanctuary door and be gone. Customarily folks in this church, especially leaders, stand around after worship visiting with one another, catching up on the latest news, planning the next big event, talking about the crops, lingering long enough to be fully steeped in community.

Mother thinks she knows why those former leaders began slipping out as soon as worship was over. They felt dis-connected. Years ago that was how my father explained no longer wanting to go to business meeting. Without a position of leadership he felt dis-connected. Mother has made a decision... she is not going to feel dis-connected. She still will study her Sunday school lesson weekly, and now she will not be responsible for keeping (or getting) a discussion going in the class. She will continue to do all the things she is able to do for the church, and she will remain connected.

That slipping-out thing happens sometimes. It can happen if you have something in the oven or another place to go. I notice it often with visitors who are not-yet-connected, and wonder if they want to be. Some people are just naturally more talkative than others. Now and then someone will slip out because it is a tender time in life, and a hard time to talk. Sometimes it is important to be able to slip out after worship. Always it is important to feel connected.

All kinds of questions flow from my morning conversation with Mother: What defines leadership; is it only people who make decisions, or can you be a leader if you teach faithfully for 60 years? How do we know if there is anyone else who will take our church job? Leaders may have a hard time letting go of a position of leadership because it has truly become part of their identity (as with my father). As pastors we can be so grateful for someone to fill that role that we don't want to mess with it. But the most significant pastoral questions that arise for me are - how do I know when someone feels connected? How will I recognize the one who is feeling dis-connected? How do we help the leader who has been replaced manage the abrupt, insulting feeling of being dis-connected and find a new place of empowerment and re-connection?

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Phoenix Rising

This business of coming home to understanding, to new realities, is constant and complex. Story after story unfolds this year in the wake of tornados, floods and fires, all powerful forms of devastating change. And the two new photos that Gabby Giffords has posted on her web site are among the emerging signs of what new life can look like. Check out this article in the Arizona Daily Star online: share

What incredible courage it takes for one to emerge from the wreckages of life and begin to rebuild. I applaud the wisdom in this op ed piece about Giffords' progressive recovery. Even more I celebrate the author's challenge to all of us to "adjust our expectations" and be able to receive the new ways in which we will experience Giffords. Do we have it in us to welcome a variety of abilities and dis-abilities among the people we work with, or the people who serve us?

I wonder if we can resist the urge to analyze and critique how well others arise from tragedy and instead study our own ability to recognize and welcome their transformation.

Monday, January 17, 2011

long-time friendship

On Saturday I attended a book reading at the Valley Unitarian Universalist church. My friend, Jan Christian, read from her recently published book, "No Brother Left Behind: a sister's war memoir." The book is a rich tapestry that weaves Jan's childhood memories together with stories of her brother, Bobby's, military service in Vietnam and his death as recounted by the Marines who served with him. The book stands alone - it was reason enough to attend the reading. I recommend it. And that was not why I went.

As Jan began to read I let the sound of her voice settle into my ears and then my soul. The waves of remembering washed over me leaving treasures behind in the sand. Her voice took me back to my first seminary class, History of Christianity, with Lynn Euzenas, where Jan and Terry Sims had more fun than was allowed and kept us all laughing with their brilliant wit. She was reading, "It was my mother who answered the door around dusk on an April evening in 1969. She took one look at the two men there and said,'It's Bobby.'" The other track of my mind was hearing an antiphon echoing a line from Rumi that she quoted in one of her sermons in Joe Webb's preaching class, "Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,there is a field. I will meet you there." As she introduced us to the men of Kilo Company in her photos, my memory called the roll of our seminary friends and each name opened a vignet of shared fun, sorrow, listening and talking, hard work, passion and a deep sense of purpose. Again Jan's voice drew me back to the book, then again her voice drew me home to a time when nothing was certain except that we were called. To be bathed in the sounds of a friend's voice was a sacred baptism naming and claiming me, bringing me home.

I'm not finished with the book... nor the friendship.

Monday, February 9, 2009

He Lifted Her Up

Mark 1:29-39 (NRSV)
As soon as they left the synagogue, they entered the house of Simon and Andrew, with James and John. Now Simon’s mother-in-law was in bed with a fever, and they told him about her at once. He came and took her by the hand and lifted her up. Then the fever left her, and she began to serve them.
That evening, at sundown, they brought to him all who were sick or possessed with demons. And the whole city was gathered around the door. And he cured many who were sick with various diseases, and cast out many demons; and he would not permit the demons to speak, because they knew him.
In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed. And Simon and his companions hunted for him. When they found him, they said to him, “Everyone is searching for you.” He answered, “Let us go on to the neighboring towns, so that I may proclaim the message there also; for that is what I came out to do.” And he went throughout Galilee, proclaiming the message in their synagogues and casting out demons.

Her daughter was married to a man who would abandon his fishing nets – the only means of feeding the family – and follow this stranger to God-knows-where. Andrew and Simon had just undergone a major life change. They used to spend their days in solitude fishing for their livelihood and their family’s. They seemed so responsible. These days, though they still fed their family, they were gone a lot. These days you would find them in the middle of a crowd.

This man they joined up with almost immediately begins to make a stir. Everywhere they go people crowd around him. He’s pretty cool, that’s for sure, and he can heal people and exorcise demons with the best of them – but yet, somehow, he’s different from all the rest. He doesn’t use all the known cures, but does his own work. He walks into a room and people turn and stare. Hard to tell if it’s the way he carries himself – it sure isn’t how he dresses – he could use some help in that department. His kindness and gentleness of spirit belie an unbending strength. There’s a quiet certainty about him – assurance – as if this man really knows himself, knows his source. This one is different. The fact that her son-in-law is hooked up with such a crowd gatherer would have been enough to give anyone a fever. And there she lay.

She was in bed, they told him. Laid aside with a fever. He found her there. We don’t know anything more about what ailed her. We don’t need to. He went to her, took her hands, and lifted her up. The Greek verb Mark uses for lifted up is the same as the word the Gospel of John uses to describe what Jesus did when raising Lazarus who had been dead for three days and already buried. Jesus took her hands and lifted her up. She got up and began to serve them. Mark says the first thing she did upon her resurrection was minister to them.

We skip right over ideas of resurrection these days. Some of us who are scholars avoid the embarrassment of mystery by arguing over the differences between resurrection and resuscitation in the case of Lazarus. Jesus’ resurrection is the only one we’re comfortable talking about – if we’re going to be Christian it’s hard to avoid that one. We side-step the embarrassment of mystery in Jesus’ resurrection by arguing over whether it was a bodily resurrection or a spiritual one. And then we hope that no one will push us to talk about whether we will be resurrected one day, and hope to avoid the embarrassment of the mystery of whether it will be bodily or spiritual.

People living in the first century after the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus weren’t so uncomfortable with the idea. Dead was dead, and alive again was alive again. And they saw it happen – these witnesses like Simon and Andrew, James and John. They looked into the eyes of Simon’s mother-in-law as she passed around the plate of cookies at the coffee fellowship at her house after synagogue. She got close enough for them to feel the warmth of her breath, an alive again body ministering to them. Yep, it was her. There was recognition.

This church is going through some change. This change is about as radical as dropping our nets to follow Jesus could possibly be. Travel back with me in time to think about some of our history. We spent a year or more catching God’s dream for us, and busied ourselves with the mission and ministry Christ wanted to continue through us. Our identity was clearly linked to outreach ministries. For a very long time we only had a central place to meet on Sunday mornings, and for a while we would come back to the school on Sunday evenings. For all those years, when we met to discuss the business of the church, or if we added Lenten studies, we met in our homes. Then in time, we prepared to build a structure to house our stuff and our ministries, a place of our own where we could worship. Then after two years of intense effort and much celebration, we moved into our new digs and began to settle in. We were tired – in bed with a fever. The cause of the fever: Fatigue, disappointment, excitement, fatigue, a need to rest after such intense effort, fatigue, waiting for an idea of what’s next. It was as if we experienced a year of post-partum depression following the delivery of our new address. A sabbatical summer of rest from all the pushing was good for us. And when we tried to get up out of our bed in the fall of 2008, our legs were pretty wobbly. We couldn’t get our bearings, and had to go back to bed, with a fever.

There’s a good chance when Jesus hears about it, he’ll come to us immediately. Reach out his hand to this church, too, and lift her up.

That night, after synagogue, after coffee fellowship, when the word had spread through Capernaum about this unusual rabbi, all the people crowded in the doorway to get to Jesus. Mark says the whole city came and huddled around the door like a bunch of crazed Cardinals fans looking for a ticket to scalp. It wasn’t the last time the crowds would find their way to him, longing for wholeness, looking for a cure. Did you ever put out finch seed, with not a finch in sight, and then watch them gather? How do they know? How do they tell one another? How does the word spread? Hungry souls seem to have a kind of telepathy, don’t they? I imagine a crowd – the whole city of Gilbert, Chandler, Mesa, Queen Creek, Apache Junction. I imagine those doors right there, open wide enough for people to get a glimpse of Jesus. Hungry souls finding their way to bread.

I don’t know what that image does to you, but it makes me want to drop to my knees in humility. It makes me want to pray hard enough to break a sweat that when people walk through those doors it is the Great Physician they will see.

No wonder he had to slip out in the early morning while it was still dark, for some healing time... some prayer. We like to think in Myers-Briggs terms about how we get renewed. Some of us recharge our batteries in a crowd, or at least in the company of friends, and others of us need alone time – absolutely must get away from people in order to think straight and renew our energies. All of us need alone time. Let me say that again. All of us can be distracted by sights and sounds around us, and in order to reconnect with our center (which is like a temple where God dwells), we have to be alone and undistracted. We need to pray.

The spiritual discipline of prayer was one Jesus practiced often. Mark shows us the result. The result of prayer for Jesus was clarity about his calling. Think of how distracted he could have become by all the need in Capernaum. Clearly he could have hung out a shingle and made a good living there caring for all the people who would come to him. He could have stayed close to home. But that was not his calling – and he knew that after spending some time in prayer. His calling was to preach the good news of God’s saving presence now here, among them, and to preach it in many places. This was what he came to do.

If we carry this allegory further and let it enlighten our listening for God’s call, what might we hear? It feels really good to be doing the things we are already doing as a church. We like our little community of faith. Liking the way we do faith development, we could expand on it, and add some new youth activities (like we are doing today with the announcement of our first movie night). If our ministries are good, we could simply do more of the same and we can assume it would all be good. But what if God is calling us to more, to something outside the box we have built?

As a congregation we may be in bed with a fever from all the recent changes, shifting from our beginning way of being -- but I feel a resurrection coming on. Post-resurrection, with new life, like Simon’s mother-in-law, the first thing we will think to do is minister again. Imagine the crowds at the door who really are waiting for someone to come along whose healing is different, who can command the demons of our time, hungry for the kind of bread Jesus is. To do this work, we need rest and renewal as much as Jesus did. Already he had done so much good, and surely there was more he could do. But his calling was wider than that – deeper, farther flung. He didn’t slip into doing less. He slipped into doing more. His calling was to move on to the neighboring towns, and there he did exactly what he had begun in Capernaum. He proclaimed the good news to another people. Article VI of Chalice’s Constitution says this: “As a Church formed from the mission-mindedness of Community Christian Church of Tempe, as soon and as frequently as practical, Chalice Christian Church shall give birth to missionaries to expand the Good News of Jesus Christ to people of another location where another Christian Church will be formed.”

There are three segments to this story from the first chapter of Mark: healing of Simon’s mother-in-law; people brought all the sick & possessed to him for healing; he got away for renewal, which readied him for work in the next town.

Come away with me for Lent. Let’s slip away in the quiet of the still-dark morning, and pray, there to be reminded of the work we came to do.

Amen.
Sermon at Chalice CC (DOC), February 8, 2009

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Snark

I just heard a lively discussion on the Diane Rehm show on NPR. David Denby has published a book titled, "Snark: It's Mean, It's Personal, and It's Ruining our Conversation." While recognizing the virtues of satire and irony, among other forms of speech used as humor, he defines snarking (currently very popular) as insider language poking fun at "the other" that has particular meaning to the insiders, for the purpose of putting down. He gives value or credibility to some instances of snarking, if they represent specific positions.

I think he walks on thin ice, since the line between OK and Not-OK snarking is so thin. But his observation is very useful, and calls me to think honestly about how much my opinions on public issues, the news, politics are formed by this rather passive-aggressive, clever, entertaining style of not-saying.

What do you think? Is snark ruining our conversation? Are we losing our ability to use language effectively to say precisely what we mean?